food for thought > Roaring Lambs

Praises

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Twelvestone:
1) driving to Chicago last night I had a migraine... maybe shouldn't have been driving?  :embarrassed: towards the end I just felt awful, didn't think I'd make it to my destination without puking in my car or something...! It was really hard to concentrate on driving, making abrupt lane changes safely.  So...I want to praise God for relatively light traffic, and that I made it through, and got a good night's rest.

2)driving home, on the other hand, I was feeling great, enjoying the familiar route.  For the first 75 miles there were intermittent rain showers, which I hadn't expected for this time of year.  In Chicago it was a pleasant 40 degrees or so--what can I say, weather is unpredictable.  Got on the phone with my sister and I was set for the the trip--adjusting my windshield wiper speed every five minutes.

At one point I felt my car shimmy a little bit, and frowned, hoping there wasn't something wrong with my car, then decided to blame wind instead.  But a while later I discovered the real reason--the wet roads were freezing.  This I discovered when I tried to slow down as I passed a collection of police cars at a scene of several cars gone off-road... and my own car began to slip.  I pumped the brakes and called out to God!  Did not spin out, did not rear end the semi in front of me, and drove the rest of the way home at 40 instead of 60.  I praise God for protecting me, allowing me to see the accident as a warning without letting me slide off the road.  I also give thanks that the freezing didn't start til I was fairly close to home.

Twelvestone:
Tonight I spent a long time writing out stuff about being a PK.  I don't dwell on my history a lot but when I start writing it, I have to face it: I have a lot of unhappy, insecure memories about growing up.  I have a lot of good memories too, mostly in the shape of Hope, and the ideas I had, and stories I read... But I can't get away from this glorious fact: 

My family is not the family it was. We are miles better at communicating, miles better at affirming and caring for one another.  Miles better at caring for extended family.  Miles better at trusting, taking chances, being generous, being healthy.  Praise to God.  We still argue, we still mess up, but we are able to apologize, and that is huge.  It's happened so gradually, I didn't even realize it til tonight as I sat here writing about what was.

Scott:
You know, we hear so much (mine included) about families deteriorating that I thank God for praises like yours. They are an encouragement and testament to God's power and ability to heal. :-)

mindyracal:
I have always said that I wanted to be adopted into another family. Mine isn't the most Christ related and I would be very embarrassed to have my boyfriend meet them for the the first time. It's hard. But then I realize it's a good way for me to witness my life in Christ to them.

My brother and his wife are actually thinking about attending church. They really want to get their 2 year old baptized(I call him my little demon child since he is a terror...lol) but they haven't found a church in the area that won't do it unless they are members. They found a church that my sister in law's sister goes to that would do it and they really like it there anyway, so they might join.

So, as much at times that I don't want to be part of my families vulgar lifestyle, I am still grateful for them. Because of everything that we have gone through, it keeps me on the straight and narrow and reminds me of my behavior.

ExtravagantlyLoved:
Something good just happened in my family recently. Amongst all the mess.

My aunt had a baby when she was 18, and she gave it up for adoption. According to her, she would have kept it, but her mother (my grandma) pressured her to do it because she wasn't married and they couldn't afford to take care of a baby. My grandma's story is different, but either way, after the baby was born, my aunt didn't see him again.

We recently found out that for a long time now she has been trying to find her son. He's 29 now, I think. She hired somebody that finds people for a living and paid a lot of money, so she was pretty serious about it. And they found him! They told the guy (my cousin!) that his birth mother was trying to find him and wanted to contact him if he agreed to it. He said that a long time ago, when he was about 18, he really wanted to find his birth mother, but was told that she didn't want to keep up with him. :-/ So he gave up. And so he was definitely interested once he found out that she was looking for him. My aunt contacted him on Facebook first, and they talked some. And they just recently talked on the phone for the first time! He's married and has two kids, I think. Or maybe it's one, and one on the way. I don't remember. And he's having marriage troubles, so my aunt talked to him a little about that, and gave him some advice from her own experience with marriage troubles. That's kinda neat.

After she contacted him, she called my grandpa and told him first. And then her two brothers, my uncle and my dad. Next came the task of telling her kids. Neither one of them knew that she had had a child before the two of them. (Interestingly enough, my brothers and I knew. Evidence of my parents' practiced habit of honesty and openness.) Despite how badly this news could have been taken, from what I heard they were excited! Her daughter immediately asked if she could find him on Facebook, too.  :)

We'll see what happens from here, and if any of us will ever get to meet him. Even if we don't, I'm so happy for my aunt. I was about to say that it's weird to think that I have another cousin, but it's not really. I've known about him forever, and I already have so many cousins anyway, some of which I know exist but have never met, that it's completely normal for me. What is kinda strange, though, is to think of myself as anything but the oldest grandchild. I've always been the oldest grandchild. On both sides of the family. So if this guy comes around and actually starts to become a part of the family, that will no longer be the case. Oh well.  :)

The only cloud in this sky of bright blue has been that my aunt won't talk to my grandma about it. She's talked lots to my grandpa, but not to my grandma. Probably because of what I mentioned about her feeling like she pressured her to give up the baby. And I think she's also afraid that she'll flip out. Especially considering what just happened recently with my cousin, my aunt and dad's brother's daughter, having a baby at 17. My grandma did not handle that well. So the only thing that would make this any better would be if my aunt and my grandma could talk about this openly and honestly.

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